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Statistically, best dating site for the marriage minded


on line dating requires patience and persistence.


eHarmony is the best the web has to offer, especially if you're looking to get serious.

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Casey Dalton : I write reviews of products I deem worthy of review. Generally if I'm reviewing...Member Reputation 335 • 69 active Krits
eHarmony from eHarmony
EHarmony REVIEW Finding Love Online
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eHarmony Review - Where do you find love?

Where do you find love?

According to a Science Daily report released on January 5, 2012, 1 in 5 Americans finds his or her spouse via online dating websites. And if you're looking for marriage, according to the report, eHarmony has, far and away, the best marriage stats. "84% of users who reported "successful" experiences on eHarmony were referring to marriage."  This is nearly 2x their top competitor. EHarmony users measure success in terms of marriage while users on other top dating sites have other criterion. What does this mean? It means that more people on are marriage minded. If you're someone who equates love with commitment and marriage, eHarmony is your best bet for finding love online.

How do you find love?

This is a trickier question, because it speaks to the actual process of dating online. The challenge of looking for love online is that it can feel like shopping for a car. It can be tedious, frustrating and sometimes even discouraging… the opposite of what we imagine when we think of romance! Let's face it, online dating is not romantic… at least not at first. 

So your first step in finding love online is to let go of the need for romance right off the bat. You can certainly express that desire in your profile and I highly encourage you to, if you're the romantic type. I just mean that the process itself probably won't feel very romantic… but the fact is, it's a highly effective method which is now the number one way people looking for a date and more, meet each other! 

Of course you've heard it a million times, but do your best to answer the questions honestly and thoroughly. And, if you'd like to get a sense of how long your essay should be, take a look at around 10 and judge from that. Also, see which ones work well and why. Don't make it too lengthy because that suggests you generally don't know when to stop talking. It's a turn off. At the same time, put a little effort into it. Comments about wanting to reach the word quota as a way to fill the space of your essay may seem like a clever and humorous shortcut to you, but they don't tell a person looking at your profile anything about you. If you put a reasonable amount of effort into your profile it makes a statement that you're serious about wanting to meet someone. If you're looking for a job, you put time into your resume. Same rules apply for online dating. 

Looking for Love

In the case of eHarmony the process of finding true love begins with an extensive questionnaire… 400 questions to be exact! Get ready to carve out a bit of time for this one. Alternatively, you're free to fill it out partially and return at any time to complete it. Having taken myself through it, the process lasts @ 45 minutes. The questions are designed so eHarmony can get a clear picture of how you see yourself, how others see you, what you value, what's important to you in a match, how you like to spend your time and what your nature is (for example adventurous vs. enjoying routine.) Most of them are done with a scale system, there are some true/false and a few where you select among options or provide the answer (for example 3 things you're most grateful for.) 

Unlike dating sites like Match, which rely mostly on you finding people who look appealing, sites like eHarmony and Chemistry create your extensive personality profile to provide you with more accurate matches. You can read all about your personality once you've completed the questions. Apparently I'm agreeable, open, emotionally stable, conscientious and extraverted. Cool! Once they've determined the categories you fit in, they go into depth about those categories. It's quite interesting, actually, all dating aside. :-)

Another nice feature of eHarmony is that you're free to search on your own, but if you prefer, they do all the work for you, selecting matches for you every day. A word to the wise, I would recommend creating a separate email account for your communications from eHarmony. Your mailbox will quickly fill with possible matches and you can't adjust that notifications setting without shutting off their matchmaking. If you prefer to just search for matches without their recommends you're free to do that in your settings. 

Will you find love?

So the first phase is fun, if you like that kind of thing. The second phase involves the dreaded profile essay, which, in the case of eHarmony, has been thankfully split into lots of manageable questions instead of one primary message. I think that makes this section a lot less overwhelming than some of their competing sites. You still have an advantage on this one if you're a decent writer. If you're not a decent writer, just keep it simple and genuine and do your best to speak from your heart.

The next phase, looking at other people's profiles, can be fun! You'll probably be surprised that you can quickly get a feel for your interest level, but try to stay open and don't let it be all about the pictures. Pictures can be misleading… sometimes people put up old or fake pictures or ones that are hard to see and what you see is definitely not what you'll get. On the other hand, sometimes someone has a sparkle in their eyes or a confident way of carrying themselves that isn't reflected in the pictures. 

EHarmony has created a series of ice-breaking questions to make this phase less awkward and give you a clearer picture of who the other person is. I recommend treating this phase as a bit of a numbers game. Out of all the profiles you look at you'll be attracted to a certain percentage. Out of all the ones you're attracted to on line, you'll have real chemistry with a smaller percentage when you meet in person. Out of the ones you feel chemistry with when you meet in person… you may find a few you like but really, when the dust settles, it's unusual to find more than one match who makes sense for you at a given time in your life. 

Get the Love You Want

So the trick with online dating is to be willing to hunt, start wide and let the field naturally narrow itself. You have to be willing to answer a ton of questions, exchange emails with a lot of people and go on a bunch of mediocre dates in order to meet that special someone. Treat it like a sociological study, if you need to keep it interesting for yourself. Only, in this case, you're the subject of the study! What I mean is, accept the process for what it is, let go of expectations and you'll have a better chance of finding it interesting and getting the love you want.

The eHarmony Wrap Up:

On line dating can be a drag but it can also be the greatest thing that ever happened to you! One thing is clear: it requires a bit of time and patience. In any event, If you're looking for love, it's a step in the right direction and I commend you for just showing up. With over 20 million active users, eHarmony is the perfect place to start.

Date Reviewed: March 28, 2012, 9:10 am
Reviewed by Casey Dalton
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science daily report ranks eharmony above other sites, for the marriage minded.
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